These girls need to lighten up...

... literally.

What is the difference between this...
and this?...
I'd say about 30 years or so - if that. Sexy, right?

{I realize everyone ages... but everyone does not age into having the ability to camouflage themselves on a brown leather sofa.}

I am not saying lighter skin is better. I am saying your natural skin that is taken care of is the best skin you will ever have. No matter what color your skin may be, it's beautiful. Take care of it. This is my personal story and feelings.

I used to tan - a lot. I am half Middle Eastern and have European, but I grew up with my middle eastern side (my mother). I looked at my family with their tan skin and dark features, I looked adopted. I, born with blond hair (now naturally mouse brown) and blue eyes, light skin you can see through. I would look in magazines with tanned goddesses parading around in their bikini's, the 'popular' girls. I had to be tan. As my hair changed to brown, I had to be blond. And I was for a long time. I loved it, everything about it. I spent a fortune on $99/month tanning subscriptions and $100 bottles of tanning lotion with bronzers and self tanners. It was a way of life. If I wasn't tan, no one would like me - not even myself.

Then, it dawned on me. As much money and time I spent tanning and fake baking... if I ever stop for even a few weeks... it went away. My tan always eventually fades. All of my time and money was going down the drain - literally... I would shower and you could see the self tanner come off (for this reason I even gave up swimming pools in fear my tan would melt away - yes, it happened. The chlorine took my tan off and turned the towels orange-brown when I got out... mmm sexy.)
What was I wasting all my effort on?! My skin was getting worse! I got my first wrinkle at the age of 20. I had been tanning for 6 years at that point. I have to say I had a lot of reasons for my obsession, I looked better, I looked thinner, I had a vitamin D deficiency so my doctor said it would be a good idea, I had to wear less makeup since the tan covered my veins. I was getting wrinkles at 20 years old. All of a sudden, those 'reasons' quickly became excuses.

I tanned because I was insecure.

I stopped and for a while I dabbled in just using self-tanners. I liked it... for a little while. Then I got sick of the stink, of the blotchy-ness when I would try to get it off. I even tried the tinted lotions, but I still tired of having to double my routine of lotions just to have a hint of a tan.

I decided to be myself ~ my natural color. This was a big step for me and I was/am very sensitive about it. For reference, if you are familiar with MAC Cosmetics, I went from an NC40 to and NC20 (actually the MA said NC15... but my body is slightly darker than my face so I wear NC20 instead). It took me 6 months of my tan fading to get back to my natural color. For a while I wondered if it would ever end haha.

Now, people say things like "Get some sun! You look dead. You look sick. Are you healthy? You looked better before. I like you tan."... In part, I was right. People truly do not like me because I am not tan anymore. I once had a woman grab me and start shaking my body saying "You look sick! Are you alright?! What's wrong with you?!". That same woman explained to me that I have to be tan because that is how I was when I got married. I find when I am one-on-one with someone they tell me it's pretty and I look nice. But, when we are with groups who want do some pale-hatin' they are right with them "She's afraid of the sun! You need to be Bronze!". I am not going to lie, sometimes it's hard for me to be strong. That was partially why I started blogging, I was meeting all these beautiful girls who were looking at beauty for the long term as I wished to ~ they are absolutely gorgeous, and they give me the strength to brush off the comments of others. I am not just saying this - their skin is radient, their look is so beautiful it's hard to believe. The confidence is astounding and contagious. If they can be beautiful in their natural skin why can't I? This is why I have made dedication to care for my skin now and stop abusing it. A tan isn't beautiful, it's skin damage, and one day we will all pay for it. Some much more than others (i.e. ever heard of skin cancer?).

Oh and just an FYI to those who use "the safe tan" self tanners (if you insist), use them only at night. The ingredients in most self tanners make you far more sensitive to sun damage for hours after application. To those who believe tanning beds are safer, using a tanning bed for 20 minutes (level 1, standard not high pressure) is equal to a whole day out in the bright sun. Take it from me - it will age you. You will look far worse in the long run.

So, if you know someone who has made a similar vow ~ don't be a jerk and just congratulate them, they have a lot more guts to stand out than those tanaholics (more than you realize - and it's not as easy as you think so keep your insecurities to yourself.)

Like I said, this is my personal story, I would love to hear yours.



{P.S. I will try to find a picture of myself before so you can see the difference!}

I will talk to you all soon! A haul is coming! XOXO